KaM (bristolian_kam) wrote,

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Apart From

Me. The household are off for the Returners' Formal at Wills, which will be filled by last year's attendants. I couldn't face going, so stay here working, sipping coffee and writing text messages. What's the theme with trying my hardest and being undervalued out the other side ?

I still haven't followed up the issues with Wills for disgracefully, and illegally, cutting the hard-working staff short; and while it doesn't affect me day-in, day-out, it does leave me slightly bitter when thinking about it, and I've kept notes for a letter under my desk for weeks, since before Christmas, even.

Also a little disgruntled with Edinburgh University. When I applied there for Undergraduate study, I explained via e-mail that I could not make the open day due to pressing family troubles, and if they could help me by telling me when might be best to come to have a quick chat and a look around, I would travel up for that privilege.

That remained unreplied, and follow-up phone calls unanswered, so I went up without invitation. Enjoyed a good day out and a look around the outside of the University precinct, not long after the positivity instilled by the wonderful trip to Bristol only some 10 days earlier. Three years later, I might have hoped for an improvement, but not coming so soon.

psymun kindly tried to e-mail their English Department on my behalf, but to the main departmental address, and his mail was rejected. In turn, I e-mailed their English Postgraduate Secretary a fortnight ago to no reply. Despite their encouragement, it feels rude to contact academics without invitation or worthy cause as the Secretary's answers to queries may give me opportunity to decide.

So now, I've lost faith in admin. staff, excepting a query to Royal Holloway (as I suspect that's an impossible cause anyway), and have messaged a handful of academics with proposals. I will be interested, and I hope not overly disappointed, just to see who replies over how promising the result may be.

The coming days will be fairly decisive with regards to future endeavours, and I've spent a lot of time concentrating on application forms and thinking about a research proposal. Together with that, I'm due an essay back on Monday, and it's incredibly nerve-wracking. The marks-to-effort ratio still resonates deeply in my head.

Still praying quite strongly for good results. Even if it comes to nothing, there's a surprising consolation in believing what's best for me will happen. That proved altogether in coming here after what felt like initial failure. As it's said, either act or move on. Now's time for one, the other, or both.
Tags: postgraduate, wills

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